Moving On

When is it time to move on? The answer is simple—it’s when we have done everything in our power to change the situation but it remains unbearable to stay. Many of us find ourselves at one of the lowest points in our lives when a significant relationship ends. We not only miss the person that is no longer in our lives, but often what we miss even more is the relationship itself. We have come to depend on its stability and structure, the family unit, the status among friends and coworkers, and the feeling of belonging. It really doesn’t matter who did the leaving, the sense of loss can be felt on both sides.

This feeling of loss can be overwhelming. The depression and anxiety it leaves in its wake can be paralyzing and keeps us from experiencing and living life to its fullest. We may become tethered to a past that didn’t work and find ourselves unable to move forward. In this overwhelmed state, we often start to avoid activities that we once found enjoyable, and we may begin to isolate ourselves from family and friends. Ultimately, we disengage from everything that can help pull us out of the shadow of a shattered life and into the light of a healed and full life.

Just how do we get to that new life? We get there by refusing to stay in that miserable place. Standing still is not an option when seeking change. The journey from the old to the new begins by placing one foot in front of the other. Remember, even small steps get us moving in the right direction. Ok, enough clichés, even though they carry much truth—the point is that we need to do the things that move us beyond our present circumstances. This starts with a conscious decision to get back to, or discover new, activities and people who feed our souls. Even if our energy level is so low that it’s hard to get off the couch, out of the house, or even out of bed, we must do it anyway! When we do, we will eventually find that it is not the chore that it started out to be. It actually becomes one of our lifelines. In other words—we must fake it till we make it!